BrownBag Series - January 2007 - Baby Time? - Summary

Groups of women discuss provocative topics at locations in academia and industry throughout BC. January’s topic is: When is the best time to have a baby? Here’s a summary of the discussion from the different locations. Thanks to Michelle La Haye for compiling the January BrownBag data.

Location	Total Attendees	Notes
BC Hydro	15
UBC	30
IFCI-NRC	23	20 women, 3 men
UVic	7	and 4.5 mo. girl
SFU	12
Ballard	13

BC Hydro

• The group was a mix of women both with and without children. We also had someone from Human Resources come in to describe maternity and parental leave benefits and answer questions.

• Career is only one of many considerations when planning children – stable life, appropriate partner, having “lived” a little first, financial stability are all things to consider as well.

• There was lots of discussion about the struggle to find the best time for children when just starting your career in your late 20’s or early 30’s. There were worries about waiting too long and having problems conceiving, versus wanting to get some time to build a foundation for your career.

For the women who had their children when they were younger:

• Have more energy to devote to children when you are younger.
• Challenging to finish school or start your career with small children. May feel like you are sacrificing your own youth for your children.
• Children will be grown up as you approach mid-career so the freedom sacrificed when you were younger will come back in your 40’s or early 50’s when you have more money and stability to enjoy it. You may be able to retire sooner than those who waited to have kids. Will also be young enough to enjoy any grandchildren.

For women who waited until later (after 35):

• Able to complete any further education desired, career is established, had freedom to take advantage of opportunities for interesting field assignments, travel etc.
• Risk of complications in getting pregnant, risk to the baby.
• Have less energy, but may have more appreciation for caring for children when you are a little older.

For all parents:

• Should consider how many children you would like to have, and how old you will be when they are graduating / going to college.
• Your view of your career may change after you have children.
• Need to have good support systems in place, starting with your partner.

• One comment — whether it was fair to have a baby right after starting a new job.
• Every parent has a legal right to leave benefits.
• A supportive company / manager is critical – people have experienced negative reactions to their pregnancies and it leads to added stress during pregnancy.
• Companies should look at the long-term view when it comes to their employees.
• At a larger company, maternity leaves can provide opportunities for job rotations for others.

University of British Columbia

• Why is it that women in academia, particularly science and technology-related fields, have to ask this question, whereas for example a woman in nursing would not?
• Inflexible work hours and a lack of support from an employer.
• Woman in academia are older when they are finished than others.
• If they take time off for having children they risk not getting funding for research as they will have a gap in publications.
• There is a lot of social pressure both ways in terms of taking time off or not.
• As professionals it is not possible to take time off.

Some tips and suggestions for women in academia:

• Need to find the right work environment with a supportive supervisor.
• There is some financial help through different areas such as NSERC, bursaries for childcare etc.

Some comments from women who had children:

• Erratic schedule and always tired makes it very difficult to get any work done at home.
• Having a nanny was a good investment and having a supportive partner was important.
• The hardest year of her life when having her first child at the end of her PhD.
• Life changing event. Important to actively choose to spend time with her children, work does not exist at home. This way she is more productive and focuses at work.
• Waiting increases the risks.

Final conclusion:

The right work environment, good childcare, a supportive partner, and the need to be amendable to change and adjust accordingly.

Institute for Fuel Cell Innovation – National Research Council (IFCI-NRC)

Results as of January 2007 from an ongoing poll conducted by http://www.babycenter.com on the question “When is the best time to start a family?”

Age	Percent
Early 20s	11%
Mid 20s	34%
Late 20s	35%
Early 30s	17%
Mid 30s	2%
Late 30s	1%
Early 40s	0%

• Several women who have children shared their experience.
• They all had their first babies when they were in their mid or late 20s.
• They all were going to school at the same time (graduate level)
• They all had supporting partners
• Planning related to kids is good but it kills the essence and the passion
• One suggestion: A woman should at least finish undergraduate studies, find a job and then have a baby.
• If you start planning too much, there is always something preventing you from having a baby-school, job, career, financial situation…

Conclusions:
Over-planning is killing.
Each person is different and should choose her/his own time to have children, or whether to have them at all.
A supportive partner is very important if a woman wants to have children and a career.
People without children can sometimes offer much more to children who need help (donations, adoption, assistance…)

University of Victoria

The discussion was more practical than philosophical. Topics covered included:

• flexibility in one’s professional life during graduate studies
• differences between academic jobs and industry in allowing time for caring for a new baby
• health care coverage when changing countries soon after having a baby (for example, BC provides no medical coverage for the first three months and other insurers provide only for emergency hospital care)
• the benefit of putting in writing any leave agreement negotiated with one’s boss
• the need to consider risks (for example, one may feel sick throughout pregnancy)
• the need to share responsibility and workload with a partner

Simon Fraser Univserity

• All of the women who had had children were convinced that this was the best decision they could have made. Some wished that had decided to try for their first child earlier, since conception took longer than expected, and planning is only possible to a certain extent.
• It seems there is never a “best” time. First the PhD has to be finished, then the postdoc, then a position as an assistant professor has to be found, and so on.
• BC and especially SFU has a very good day care system; however, every woman agreed that it is easier to raise children if they have a supporting partner or if their extended family is nearby. Unfortunately, the day care system is still very expensive.
• Interests and social networks change after having children. Some women found it very supportive to be in contact with other new moms that they met in prenatal kinds of classes or in new moms groups.
• The overall consensus was that every woman has to decide for herself, when and whether she wants to have children. Afterwards it is certainly necessary to make a lot of compromises but one simply adapts to the changes and requirements.

Ballard

Career:

• There can be benefits to being established in your career before having a baby.
• Conversely, it can be frustrating to become established, leave to have children, and when you return, to find that others have been promoted.
• To a company, taking 6 months off instead of 1 year doesn’t really make any difference. And men who take paternity leave are also impacted at work.
• Switching companies after having a baby can be difficult. Smart companies offer part-time options which can lead to loyal employees.

Financial:

• Sometimes it doesn’t make financial sense to have both partners working after having children. In particular because childcare is so expensive ~$900 to ~$1200 per month.
• After childcare, housing, RRSPs etc. little money remains.

Relationship:

• Having children can add stress to a relationship. It can bring a strong relationship closer but it won’t make a poor relationship work.
• Discussing parenting style beforehand is a good idea as conflicts in style can lead to stress and conflict in a relationship.

Childcare:

• Some children do not respond well to daycare.
• Daycares have really long wait lists.
• Having grandparents provide daycare or both partners working part-time can be helpful.
• Nannies can be a beneficial arrangement in particular if there is more than one child.

Not having a baby:

• Women in their late 30s, early 40s, who don’t have a partner, can feel a lot of pressure if they want to have a baby. However, women who have children would not recommend doing it without a partner, as they have found that having a child is much harder than they thought.
• Some people feel there is still a stigma to a woman who decides not to have children.
• There may be lead full and satisfying lives.
• For those who cannot have children it can be very painful.